An Ode to my Scrubs

In my short 22 years of life I have learned a few things about myself: platinum blond was a horrible mistake, I do not love chocolate and peanut butter {yes this means Reese's, buckeyes, and whatever other combination you can't get enough of}, and I hate pants. I mean I really loathe them. I wear them in public because having an arrest record for public indecency would be hard to explain to any future employer. And yes there are dressed and blah blah blah but honestly, I'd prefer to just run around in my underwear. Maybe it has something to do with running around in a swimsuit for 16 years?

But I digress.

This last month I have spent what amounts to approximately 90% of my waking time in scrubs. This combined with three semesters of lab have taught me something new, of all the pants I have to wear, scrubs pants you vary between being my most hated and most loved item of clothing.

Much like finding the perfect pair of jeans, mastering the art of understanding scrub sizing becomes a fine art. Why? Scrubs run large. And by large I mean I made the mistake of ordering my very first pair in a regular medium. I'm by no means tiny and you could literally fit two of me in them and they covered my feet like I was wearing socks. Plus they lacked the elastic waistband that your grandmother swears by and I promise you she's right. It's life changing. They stretch, they stay up and you can get fat and your pants don't fit like they're judging your for your life decisions.  So once you master the art of sizing (a petite medium tends to work well on my 5'4" frame) you realize they come in so many colors and patterns and styles oh my! But of course you're going to be constrained to purchasing whatever your establishment requires which will not be that pattern you're currently drooling over. So you move along and settle for the fact that you have to purchase navy or grey or blue and you get them home and forget about them until you have to wear them again.

Only once you wear them do you suddenly realize how much you love pockets. Your scrub pants are in essence the "sexy" form of cargo pants. Look at all the things I can carry! I have pockets on my white coat, my scrub top, and I have 6 on my pants. Do you know how many pens, papers, calculators, notes, books, phones, and other crap that I forget to take out I can shove in there? ALL OF THE THINGS! But also once you wear them do you realize the downside. Why oh why dear scrubs must you attract every piece of lint known to man? Why does it look like I'm constantly shedding? Why do you never fade at the same rate so my pants are no longer the same color as my top? (Now maybe this is because I've been forced to purchase those boring dark colors but who knows).

Let's wrap this up. So, dear scrub pants, thank you for being otherworldly comfortable and hiding the fact that I only wash you once a semester (kidding... sort of). For pants, I guess you're not so bad.