A Life Well Loved {Even In Pharmacy School}

I'm bad at blogging.

There! I finally said it. But then again you all already knew that didn't you? See it's not that I don't enjoy doing this, but rather, when I have a free minute I'm usually sleeping or eating. Those have become my two favorite activities in college... That's a lie. I've always loved them. Oh well, thank you for your patience and understanding in this matter of my blog that gets updated maybe once a month.

Moving on.

For those of you that don't already know, pharmacy school is really f***ing hard {I promise that expletive is actually necessary}. It's grad school on steroids and did I mention that you start when you're 20? All of your friends still go out on a Tuesday night like it's their job and you slowly disappear into the basement of the library and emerge a week later looking like you've been living on caffeine and crackers for a week while showering in the sink. You can laugh but there are times that's almost been a reality. A therapist really should have been included on the list of required materials.

It's not the most beautiful existence and at times it's been difficult to enjoy the process. Our mantra is "one day." Not one-a-day, save that for your vitamins. Just one day, a look towards the future. A simple belief that at some point all this stress and all those tears will be someday be worth it. Faith in the idea that we will look back and see our time spent here as valuable.

But I want to change that. Now there is nothing wrong with the one day creed we seem to have developed except, at times that someday just feels very far off and when you have 6 exams in the next 8 days and it's not even finals week... well let's just say that dropping out and becoming a SCUBA instructor doesn't seem completely out of the realm of possibilities.

Instead I want to choose happiness.

Alright we do fun things too

I do believe that happiness is a choice. I can choose to complain about these next few weeks or I can find the positive in this experience. I don't want pharmacy school or life to be a series of "one days," I want it to be "today." What can I value about this experience today to make this something I want to continue doing? Why do I keep coming back everyday {well almost everyday}? What reason other than the future?

I want that reason to be because I'm doing something that makes me happy with people who I find make my life a little brighter. I choose happiness.

I choose to love the people I've met through this experience. I choose to value the time I'm spending in school because, despite the difficulty of it, I actually do enjoy the material. I want to learn something new and be amazed. I want to look back on this experience and see something other than those late nights in the library. I want to remember those late nights I spent laughing with friends. Those early morning Chick-fil-a runs {that I promise were always 100% necessary}. The stupid jokes that no one else understands.

I want to love where I am and who I'm choosing to spend time with. And so I will. And I do.

In my few short years and complete lack of wisdom I have found one thing: "if you love life, it truly seems to love you back." -Arthur Rubinstein